flynn syndrome

should i have posted this long time ago i could have been healed by now. im just not good at words, im not even good at expressing at all.
pain. when will i not experience pain anymore. my heart's tired, so tired im not letting any sweet efforts the person is doing or planning to do. it will just cause me more sufferings.
im happy during daytimes. i see my officemates, my friends and new faces. im happy doing my work catching my quota even if ive been trying to hit it for the past 8 months now. im happy making jokes and kidding around with my seat mates that they never believe i ever get sad.
but when i go home, in that four corners we shared to sleep every night, i cry silently. the person would just lie facing away from me. as if nothing's wrong. as if we still have a healthy relationship. i start to break the silence by hugging the person tight and whisper those three cute words i thought i will never get tired of telling. the person will just lazily answered back without doing any attempts to at least face me. i tell how much i want to be hugged back and how much i miss the days and nights when we never get tired after each long day of work that we still have time to cuddle and play around. but the person just sleeps. i cant even finished this whole thing up since i cant and wont mention the name. i hate love. god knows how i hate love now. if loving just makes me this sad, i wish i never have loved at all. i dont care anymore. i just want to continue life erasing every memory i have with the person. and i wish i know how.

Posted by angel by day.... at 02:54  

Labels: choo choo, letting go, pain, sad, sufferings